Communication

Why teach children about communication?

An important topic to teach children is interpersonal communication. When a child is provided a comprehensive look at communication, the child tends to be more forgiving when miscommunication and misunderstandings occur.

Explain Hearing versus Listening

• Hearing is the sense of sound perceived by the ear
• Listening is a conscious effort to process the meaning of the sounds

With communication, there is a sender and a receiver. The messages travel back and forth. Sometimes, the message moves accurately from the sender to the receiver but other times there miscommunication or misunderstandings occur.

Communication

Explain how communication expectations change:

• According to the audience
  • Child to Child
  • Child to Adult
  • Child to Parent
  • Adult to Adult

• According to the setting
  • Within the home
  • Within the school
  • Within the community

• According to the level of formality
  • Baseball field versus a Dinner Party
  • Example: Saying the phrase ‘hey guys’ when chatting with friends versus approaching a group of teachers

Discuss how information is communicated differently when using different intonation and body language.

• Analyze how the meaning of the phrase and implication can change when the intonation is on different words
  • I like your shirt (seems genuine)
  • I like your shirt (implies someone else does not)
  • I like your shirt (implies that the person does not love the shirt)
  • I like your shirt (implies that the person does not like someone else’s shirt)
  • I like your shirt (implies that the person does not like the rest of the outfit)

• Analyze how the meaning changes when delivering ‘I like your shirt’ as a genuine compliment with a smile and wide eyes versus a snarky comment with a smirk and squinted eyes.

Miscommunication

The receiver does not always get the message intended by the sender.

• A good game to play is telephone/ whisper down the lane to show that the message becomes distorted as it travels from sender to receiver and so on.
• After playing, explain to the children that even though he/she receives a specific message, that does not mean that was the intended message
• Give an example of friends discussing a talent show. One says that she does want to do the talent show but the receiver thinks she said that she does not want to do the talent show.
• Explain that it makes more sense to acknowledge that there may have been miscommunication and move on from there rather than argue and dispute the issue

Misunderstandings

• Explain that interpersonal communication leads to misunderstandings on a frequent basis through no fault of the sender or the receiver.
• Give an example of a girl who thought her friend would want to go to the movies but she really wanted to go to the mall.
• Explain that it makes more sense to acknowledge that there may have been misunderstandings and move on from there rather than argue and dispute the issue

Body Language

While the actual percentages are disputed, it is widely regarded that majority of communication is nonverbal.

Step 1:

• Write the word ‘nonverbal’ down and explain that they are going to learn a ‘college’ word.
• Have them guess what they think the word means.
• Explain that verbal means words and have children guess what nonverbal means given that information.
• Explain that nonverbal communication is facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, and posture.

Step 2:

• Explain facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, and posture
• Play emotional charades where each child takes a turn exhibiting body language associated with a certain emotion and others guess.
• For the next round, have the children play again but all using the same one line. (Ex: I want to go to the party)
• Discuss the implied meaning of the statement when given the emotions.
  • Excitement- child really wants to go to the party
  • Sadness- child may be sad because they might not be able to go to the party
  • Tired- child may want to go to the party but may be too tired
  • Happiness- child wants to go to the party

Step 3:

• Discuss the difference between the following types of communication and common body language associated with each one
  • Passive- soft-spoken, limited eye contact, withdrawn, slouched posture, whiny
  • Aggressive- overwhelming, loud, a lot of eye contact, leaning forward posture, angry
  • Assertive- good eye contact, confidence, eye contact, standing up straight with shoulders back posture
• Model each communication type (Ex: telling the physical education teacher that someone hit them with a ball) and discuss why the receiver may be more likely to listen to the assertive communication.
• Have the children engage in mock negotiations with an employer requesting a raise.
  • Each child has the opportunity to act as the assertive employer asking questions.
  • Each child has the opportunity to role-play the passive role, the aggressive role, and the assertive role.
• Discuss which person is most likely to receive a raise and why.
• Children tends to enjoy this game***

Manners

• Another topic to cover is manners.
• Have children list different manners and make a visual list
• Discuss why it is important to use manners

Personal Space

• In order to explain personal space, you need to acknowledge that there are times when personal space is limited such as sitting in the cafeteria
• A good visual activity for students to teach personal space is using a hula hoop to show them their personal space bubble.
• You can do the freeze dance and tell children to mind their personal space hula hoop bubbles. Anyone who invades personal space is out.

Physical Contact

• Explain that certain levels of physical contact are appropriate for family versus strangers.
• Explain that there are times when you need help from strangers such as a store employee or a community helper for instance
• Explain that when approaching a stranger:
  • Say ‘Excuse me’ multiple times loud enough for the person to hear
  • If the person does not respond, explain that the child may use physical contact with a flat hand on the shoulder
    • Explain that you should not touch a stranger on the lower back, leg, face, neck, or head. *the children usually laugh
    • Explain why you would not use a claw hand or a fist
  • Practice and role-play with the students to have them in the role of the store employee and the child needing assistance.

Benefits

• These skills and games should be practiced and reinforced on a consistent basis for skill-building.
• Once the children know the verbiage, you can refer to it as a verbal cue or prompt such as ‘personal space’ or ‘use assertive communication’.
• Being aware of one’s own body language and how to communicate in an assertive manner are skills that can help in all aspects of their lives as a child as well as adulthood.